I had a call just now from a dear friend asking me how do I deal with people who takes what I say too personally, as a lot of the things I say tends to be the truth and the truth hurts.
So, HOW do I deal with haters, critics, negative comments and people who project their own self-righteousness and values and opinions onto me?
Simple, I have a strong mindset of:
“I don’t give a flying monkey muffin.”
One of the main reasons why I’m able to do this is because I generally play the bad cop. Not because I want to, but it generally just falls into my responsibility to do so. But I love it.
I also understand that there really is no right or wrong answers in life. That is just a concept. Life is yin and yang. So when people complain that there shouldn’t be evil in this world, I say certain evil is a necessity.
E.g: Whether you agree with me or not (again, I don’t give a flying monkey muffin), Donald Trump is a necessity. Thanks to him, the entire world is finally going to wake up and realize that we need better leaders and that maybe you should be the one to step up.
Here is what majority of the people don’t understand, which I am blessed to have learned at an early age from my Godfather who was also a mentor to me:
You can disagree with anyone and everyone but never disrespect them. In fact, you can disagree with someone and still have huge respect for that person if that person is being 100% authentic. Meaning they speak their mind and truth.
But now you may be asking, “But Ich… what do I say? How do I respond to these comments? How do I defend my position?”
The answer is that you don’t need to. But if I really want to respond it depends on the context, so here are a few common responses that I generally say:
- Some people project their own beliefs onto me, in which case I respond with: “That is your beliefs only and I don’t subscribe to beliefs.”
- Some people will outright disagree with me, in which case I respond with: “I agree to disagree with you too.”
- Some people will say something negative about me, in which case I respond with: “Your opinion of me is nothing more than a reflection of you.”
- Some people will try to be a smart-ass and answer with a question to illustrate their point across, in which case I respond with: “Interesting. Thank you for sharing.” or “Interesting, but I disagree.”
- Some people will have the cheek (these are the worse) to tell me what I should and should not do and how wrong I am, or that they don’t want to be seeing this kind of post etc, in which case I respond with (this is my favorite!): “There is an unfollow / unfriend button on my profile page. Wait, I’ll just make life easier for you. I’ve done you the service of unfriending you. Wishing you all the best.”
Summary Key Points:
- Know what you want to stand for and stand for that.
- Don’t waste your life people pleasing, you can’t please everyone.
- If you don’t have it takes to play the bad cop, then don’t play it. But stick to being you and express yourself fully.
- It’s YOUR bloody FB wall, it’s YOUR space. You can write whatever you want on it and post whatever you want.
It’s YOUR RIGHT. If people don’t like what they see, direct them to the “UNFOLLOW / UNFRIEND” button. - It doesn’t matter what you have to say, if it’s the truth, it is going to trigger someone’s ego. ESPECIALLY when it comes to topics like Relationship and Money.
- Avoid talking about Politics and Religion. Just don’t go there.
- If your so-called friends don’t support you in what you do, then they’re not your friends. Make space for real friends.
- You’re not always right either, so stay open minded and learn.
- Finally, a healthy debate can only take place if both parties remember to respect one another and park their ego aside.
Until then,
Stay strong, stay focused and stay shining brightly,